Fear has been in my heart and on my mind, especially in the past couple of months. I’ve always had a set dream in mind and believed that one day, it would become my reality. But insecurities get the best of everybody, and it certainly did with me. It’s held me back from pursuing certain opportunities for the fear that I’m not good enough. It’s made my good days turn bad and has turned me into someone I was definitely not proud to be. I wasn’t myself.
To me, faith is believing in the good even before it has happened and trusting it will happen. Whenever I start to feel fear, I instantly ask myself what I am doing wrong, how can I fix it, and is there ANYTHING I can do to not feel this fear. When all those questions arise and I come up with nothing to answer them, all I’m doing is believing that I am self sufficient. But, I’m not 🙂 By constantly putting myself through that, I’ve come to realize that maybe God doesn’t want me to do anything at all. He wants me to be still. I always have to remind myself that God’s communication with me is personal. God will allow us to feel fear to give us the opportunity to use our faith and come to him. I realized the best way to get out of it was to trust in God’s promises.
How are you defining yourself? When I was going through my insecurities I remember thinking, “How are you going to handle this? You are a 20 year old media student.” Yes, being a media student involves a lot of fun responsibilities but, it’s just my earthly job. It’s a talent and a gift that God has given me to enjoy and to use. But it’s not how I need to define myself. The amazing thing is, I can define myself as a child of God. As someone who is loved by God and led by God.
It became clear to me that God has already equipped me with everything I needed to get through a trial. The cool thing about it is, you’re not just getting it as it comes along. God has created you with all of those skills, the heart and the love that you’re going to need. He’s not giving you the tools as you go along, you were created with them.
My mom sends me a bible verse every morning. She sent me Psalm 23:4 the other day, which hit me.
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me”
You walk through the valley. You don’t stay in it. You don’t make home in it, you will get through it. It’s a temporary season and it’ll pass. But you won’t get through it because you are equipped, you will get through it because God is with you.
I hope that verse can help you through whatever season of fear you are feeling right now! Fear will only get stronger if you try to get out of it yourself, be still in God.
This too shall pass,